Eventually, I realized I was not doing it to eliminate the silence. No, I needed the outside noise to drown out the voices within me. I did not want to deal with myself. I didn’t want to hear what the voices in my head were telling me.
Because these voices were quite discomforting. They forced me to deal with myself. When you let in the silence, your thoughts begin to fly, perhaps things you would rather not see – things you’ve successfully supplanted with noise, work, and activities -- rise up to the surface.
But it is facing our own self and our own thoughts that helps us to lead a happy life. Only when you manage to look openly and honestly into your heart and say to yourself that you are not hiding your feelings, then you have a chance to discover what is important to you, and to lead the life you want.
I know that what you face there is not always nice. There are also qualities inside me that I don’t like, and that I do not want to have. But they are a part of me, and make me the person I am. Yin and yang, shadows and light, good and evil – both sides are necessary, whether I like it or not.
How is it for you? Do you also accept that you have a negative side? Do you listen, when your inner voice starts judging you?
It is exactly when we are in situations where we don’t really know how to decide, that it is important for us to take time for ourselves. Time to seek silence and let the mind run free. At first, this might result in a crazy, incoherent hodgepodge of brainwaves that seem to make no sense. But when you really take time for yourself, then you can find insights and solutions.
It is exactly when we are faced with important decisions that we need this silence. Should I take the job? Should I make the switch to self-employment? Do I stay with my partner, or do I leave? Do I want children in my life, or not?
Which decision stands before you at this moment? You can ask for advice from friends, relatives, colleagues, or others around you. But, ultimately, you have to make a decision on your own and live with all of its consequences. Sure, you can let someone else make the decision for you. But do you want that? Do you want someone else to shape your life? You, alone, are the one who will bear the consequences of your decision, not anyone else.
So have the courage to face solitude; seek out silence. Have a dialogue with yourself. I promise you, you will find your answers.